FbH - May 10 Election Motherfuckery

  

Somebody once said that "In unity, there is strength".

Who the fuck says that? I mean come on! We were fucking united. We all voted for Gibo. We all dressed in green and paraded around the streets like a company of lost St. Patrick's Day patrons and wayward leprechauns. And we still fucking lost to the three most undeserving candidates in the history of the universe namely: 

But really, I'm being overly mean again. I am not anti-Noynoy and have nothing ill to say of our new president (And no, I'm not saying this for fear of being abducted by the Noynoy Nazis or some shit like that), I just pray that he doesn't fuck up this country even moreso. So cheers and congratulations to you, Mr. President, and I look forward to watching your future attempts to remedy the big fuckup that is our country. And please don't arrest me for writing this. Speirs loves you =D
   

-SP

FbH - Up to speed

HOLY SHIT, has it really been 5 months since my last entry?

Well stop complaining, motherfucker, I'm back and just as bored as I was when I first starting writing this piece of crap weblog. Since I'm half-drunk on tequila at the moment and find myself unable to soliloquize anything witty or comprehensible, let me just bring you up to speed on the current goings-on in my droll and meaningless existence.

I'VE FUCKING GRADUATED! WHOOP-DE-FUCKING-DOO!

Oh yes, as you can see, I am now a proud holder of a Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree after 5 extremely long, stupid years of pointless requirement-making and note-writing motherfuckery. Hah hah hah in your face Duja, let's see you try and take my ID now, bitch.

-SP

FbH - Back from the dead

 

*ehem*

All right, I admit it: it's been ages since my last post.

 

Well, what do you expect, I'm a nursing student; I was fucking busy.

So it turns out while I was away, the imps have been running amok all over the place, ripping off Star Wars and fucking each other.

 

All right, first things first:

1. Stop the fornicating imps

2. Write something witty

Now, whereas I've got number 1 taken care of, I continue to struggle with number 2. Apparently in all my previous posts, I seem to have gotten profanity confused with wit. All I seemed to be doing was filling my posts with cusses to occupy the spaces of empty thought, in the same manner as how I would dip  my toast into some hot chocolate to compensate for the fact that I've run out of fucking butter.

Now invigorated with a new desire to better myself in my writing, I thank those that inspire me to be the best at what I do. Now let us take a moment of silence to reflect upon their contributions to mankind.

 OH FUCK IT, I'LL JUST GET MYSELF SOME HELLO PANDA

-SP

FbH - ...

 

Rarr rarr, raawr rarr arrawr rarr fnarr fnarr rawr fnarr, hurr hurr hurr

 -The Imp

FbH - Hmmmm

There's a nagging little doubt at the back of my head, but I can't seem to remember what it's about. Maybe it's because our 100 nights musicale..thing's tomorrow, I mean, later. Perhaps I'll try to remember what it is in the bloody morning, so I can finally rest my bleeding eyeballs.

-SP

THIS WEBLOG IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
 

Rawr rawr rar rrrrr, rar rar rawr rawr rrr, grr grrr rawr rar, agrablargrablargl rawr blarg blarg rawr. Hurr hurr hurr.

-The Imp

FbH - I can't think today

Well this sucks. I never dreamed of the day that my big, beautiful brain goes tits-up on me. Seriously, today it seems as if my mind has nothing but scorn for me and my desire to think about things. I can't even finish this fucking paragraph. So I guess I'll make a new one, hurr hurr.

Fuck, still nothing.

Arrgh..

Jesus Christ, thinking's hard today!

Oh yes, before I forget, let us all pause for a brief moment of silence in memory of my beloved brain. Farewell, old friend. We hardly knew thee.

I'm just joking, children. My brain's still here and intact;

IT'S JUST BEING A BITCH!

Just one whole day of fucking practice for our bloody 100 nights musicale..thing, and it decides to take the rest of the day off. My fault, I guess. It's probably just taking a few pointers from my lazy arse.

I just hope this inadequacy of brain function is fucking temporary. Come to think of it, not being able to think about shit can be really dull. Looks like I've got to find something to help me pass the bloody time. Here's to hoping that within the next 20 minutes, my hat will sprout wings and fly me off into the choco mallows kingdom.

-SP

FbH - 2.0 Update!

Alright, I admit it: I'M BORED. It's Sunday, bloody Sunday, and apparently everyone I know are sleeping in today. Christ, I fucking hate Sunday. I'm starting to hate Moses for ever teaching that fucking 3rd commandment to those cunts..so since I had nothing better to do today, I decided to update my weblog's header pic, because the old one looked like balls (not literally of course, that would be gay).

 I also decided to give my mini-me a fedora to be easier to identify in all my clusterfuck photos, and mainly because fedoras are among my top 10 list of fucking sweet hats, just a notch below the tricorn and 1 step above the fez.

Yes, only a few hats come this close to beating my beloved fedora, although sometimes I feel that it makes me look like a tosser (i.e. Ne-yo, for instance). Hats aside, I have also set up a NetworkedBlogs.com widget on the right-hand corner, so following Fueled by Haloperidol is a lot less difficult and schizophrenic, as becoming a follower of this awesome weblog is only a click away.

So why not feel free to click on the 'Follow this blog' button and be among the first to read the fresh, newest, controversial, profanity-ridden rants from my big, beautiful brain.

-SP

FbH - The Fucking Heat

JESUS CHRIST! I know some people compare school to Hell, but this shit is just bananas.

There are 2 things I hate about this country:

1. The retard cunts that infest the online gaming scene

2. The fucking heat

What the fuck nelly was the CDU-CN faculty thinking?! Turning off the bloody elevator after lunch break was fine with me, but turning off the fucking A/C in the auditorium during our grand rehearsal? This shit is too much! I was sweating my balls off for the past few hours while waiting for the fucking rehearsal (which I'm proud to say, I chose to not attend, hurr hurr). Christ, some people are retarded. In my opinion, someone should have fallen unconscious from heatstroke, nay, DIED, so those evil 100 nights facilitators could see the error of their ways. I know that the CDU administration's just trying to cut costs, but CDU is owned by Dr. Larrazabal, a fucking millionaire! Why the bloody hell can't he just spare a few bucks on air conditioning costs? And what the fuck's he doing with all that extra cash? Building a swimming pool made out of money on the fucking moon?!

-SP

FbH - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Before I say anything, let me get one thing straight:

I FUCKING LOVE MODERN WARFARE! 

Seriously, I do! I love it from its fantastic start to its balls-crunching, shitty cliffhanger ending. But who cares, right? Infinity Ward actually did a pretty decent job in porting a World War 2 shooter into the present (or future perhaps, I don't fucking know when Modern Warfare's events take place. Although if it WAS the future, I think that the developers would find a way to incorporate Robocop into the cast).

 

Anyway, what really sucked me into the labyrinthian cleavage of Modern Warfare's doughy breasts was its multiplayer mode. After a few multiplayer matches with some dudes, i discovered that fragging people was particularly easy in Modern Warfare as compared to its predecessor, Call of Duty 2. Oh wait, did you say something? Hmm? Call of Duty 3???

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

THAT SHIT DOESN'T EXIST! 

 

Pour moi, MW2 was a gleaming, glistening gem, which I had waited for almost 2 years..almost 2 incredibly long, stupid years. I won't say much about the story, except that it should be made into a movie at some point (preferably with Jerry Bruckheimer producing). I especially like the mission entitled 'No Russian', in which your objective is to escort some terrorist who just hit puberty as he brutally massacres Russian civilians at an airport. Not only did I realize that I found killing unarmed civilians cathartic and amusing (in the fucked-up-Zodiac-Killer sort of way), it also led me to conclude that I might be a serial murderer in the making.

Considering all the good things I've said about MW2, one thing really bites my balls about it - it fucking runs on Steam. AND I FUCKING HATE STEAM! No one in their right mind who lives where I do would pay 60 bucks to play this game. I'm serious, I fucking wouldn't! I can think of a million better ways to spend 60 US dollars on - like perhaps buying 150 Cornettos.

 

 

-SP

FbH: Unfamiliar Territory

Hmm..the first thing that comes into my mind when I hear the phrase "unfamiliar territory" would be "trying new things that deviate from my norm." The second thing that would come into my mind would probably be Japan. Perhaps the last might be mashed potatoes. I dunno. Wait, what was I talking about again? OH YEAH..


BLOGGING..


I can't say that I'm a big fan of this; one might even go as far to say that blogging and I are kept in two separate rooms divided by a wrought iron fence made of tigers.




But I am always willing to try new and exciting things (please note a hint of sarcasm as I stress out the word 'exciting'), so now I venture forth into the desolate wastelands known to everyone (at least anyone with a computer and internet access), as BLOGGING.


Christ, the Internet's been dull lately (-_-)..trust me, blogging wasn't my first option to kill my fucking boredom. Oh sure, there are online games like DotA or Heroes of Newerth to keep me occupied, but there are only so many retards you can kill in-game until it all starts getting old. Anyway, back to the point: this shit did not endear itself to me enough to make it my current (albeit only) option to pass the time. I used to compare the idea of people blogging to herds of amphetamine-fueled sheep, constantly bleating out every thought that crosses their pea-sized brains.




I would just like to explain that I am merely doing this mostly out of desperation to stave off suicide due to constant boredom, and nothing else. Having said enough about livestock, amphetamine, suicide, and various other sensitive issues, I still express a sincere interest in finding out how my current foray into the blogging world will fare out. If everything turns out well, I might even continue writing. But hey, at least I've got a new outlet in which to vent out my various frustrations in life. It's 6:30 in the morning and I haven't had any fucking sheep - er, sleep - yet. Til next time, then.

- SP